the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
