i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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