I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The best revenge is premature balding
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
