I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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