It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
