he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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