Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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