im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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