considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
