I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
