i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
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I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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