happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
