If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The adults are the big ones right?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
