So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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