Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
