Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
