I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
