i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
