I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
