Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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