Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
