I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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