Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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