Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
