So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
