Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
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Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
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More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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