Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
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Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
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All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize