well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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