First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
