YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
