I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
