that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
In America we eat man semen.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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