I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
