Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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