she was so not down for the gang bang
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
