I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I had to cum in my sink.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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