My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize