Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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