You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
