the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
