the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
