There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
