Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
