I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
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He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
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You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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