I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it's great music for shaving your balls
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
