Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
