did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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