no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
