guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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