It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
