I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
