i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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