Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
