they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize