She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
