Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
