Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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