Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize